sora_kumo | Entries tagged with kuroki

Yesterday, what hurts me most was not that they are married but it was that they didn't say anything until the whole world saw the news.

They're already married for a whole week!!

I'm happy for Jin that finally one of his dream came true; family
But I think it's a little bad timing to have a baby right now
He just took the first step in U.S.
There are so many things for him in the future
That's why I say "If they intentionally let the baby conceive, then I'd be really angry" but if they really didn't know that they were going to have a baby, then it's okay, it's can't be help

Why I'd be angry?
Think about these past 2 years
So many criticisms
Many people said he would never success
He still did it anyway despite all these negative comments
It was a chance once in a life time to capture his dreams
He could go further than this, much more further

But then, the baby is on the way
When you have a baby, all of your focus and time should be upon him/her
A child these days is growing fast, you have only a few years to be with them, to be close to them
When they turn 18, they would leave home

That's why Jin'll have to focus more on his family and less on work

I just don't understand that if things turned out like this, then what was that 2 past years for?
What about his dreams, doesn't he want to be in billboard chart anymore, doesn't he want to have a world tour anymore?

It's really painful for me when these questions pop in my mind

I'm saying this because I wanted all of his dreams came true, not some of it

And I'm saying this because I know how it feel when your parents don't have time for you at all

I was born when my parents were at their busiest time of their life
I was raised by my grandmother& grandfather (in a different part of my country than where my parents lived) and didn't see my parents and my older brother much (he's quite a lot older than me and can took care of himself so my parents took him with them)

In my first 3 or 4 years of life, I didn't what "father" mean
All I knew is that there is this guy often came and stay in my home
One of my first memories is that I asked my mom who was 'that guy' and would he come to our house again, and she said he was my 'father' and of course he would come again, this was his home too.

I don't want Jin's child to feel like that
And I know he'll spend time with his kid as much as he can, which means less time at work

To be success in U.S. is not easy at all
I want him to go as far as he can and not to be holding back by anything
That's why i said I would be really angry

But what's done is done
He already chose to take this path, the tougher path
All I can do is wish for his happiness (which I cried a lot when I tweeted to him)